How Many Ways Can You Divide Something in Half?

When couples separate, the rule in British Columbia is that the property that has accumulated during the marriage is to be split equally.  This 50/50 arrangement seems relatively straightforward, but things are not always as simple as things seem.

When we consider the phrase “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned” that originated from the 1697 play “The Mourning Bride” by William Congreve, we learn that the feeling of betrayal is so visceral that the rational concept of moving on and splitting things 50/50 is a total non-starter. A person who feels betrayed in their relationship, especially in their marriage will instinctively seek revenge.

In a recent case that I was involved with this past summer, a lady in a common law relationship, was so distraught that her partner left her for another person that she could not make any decisions.  This woman, a devoted homemaker, could not fathom going back to work to make ends meet.  The ex-partner, a more gregarious person, seemingly had no difficulty in moving on.  When the conversation turned to the reality of splitting assets and determining spousal support, both people soon got into the “blame game” because the person leaving had not considered the implications of leaving her partner of nine years for her new “soul mate”.   

This splitting couple, who are both in their mid thirties, had created quite a comfortable home.  They shared most things as couples do, including a comfortable condominium, a nice car, furniture, nice cooking tools, utensils, dishes, and some camping equipment to name but a few things.  They both had jobs, one worked in retail, and the other was in middle management with the provincial government.  When they engaged my services to help them work out the split of assets, I promised to show them 3 different ways as to how to look at ways to split the property that is acquired while living common law.

Option 1 – The King Solomon Approach 

In the Old Testament, 1 Kings 3:16 – 28, there is a story how King Solomon had to apply his wisdom in a very complicated, emotionally fraught, situation.  This frightful story shows that sometimes a bold and perhaps a simplistic judgement will shock people into making better decisions if they work out the decisions themselves.

This option assumes that we take all the possessions that a couple has acquired during their time of co-habitation, sell what they can in the open market and then give each person 50% of the proceeds, after tax and after fees.  The net outcome is that the couple don’t have any “things”, just cold hard cash.  Possessions such as Defined Benefit Pension plans, Canada Pension Plans are not sold, but split according to legislation.

I always start with this option as it helps clarify the value of things while helping the people involved see that there can be interesting ways to split assets especially after they get past the “getting even” phase.

Option 2 – Who gets the house and who gets the pension plan?

Most people understand that they need to live somewhere.  Others understand that there is a lot of future value in retirement plans.  On the surface, it may make sense to get possession of the house because we all need to live.  However, a person with little or no income, other than spousal support, may not be able to pay the on-going fixed costs such as taxes, condo fees, and maintenance.  Alternatively, the other party may see not owning the house as a real benefit, because the pension values may be equal to the value of the house. 

In this real-life scenario, when considering the value of different properties, the present value of the home, which was their condo, has a present value of $380,000.   The spouses pension plan, which has a present value of $215,000 would be much more 25 years from now.  On the surface, the value of the condo looks very appealing, except that Condominium Reserve Account does not have enough money in it to pay for the new roof and boiler which are necessary within the next 7 years.  To meet the reserve requirements, each owner needs to pay $30,000 to meet this legal responsibility.  If the lady earning her living working retail did not know this, she may have been accepted a bad deal from the “ex”.  There are two lessons in this brief scenario.  The first lesson is that different assets grow in value at different rates and the second lesson is to understand that all physical assets need maintenance and require money to fix the problems.

Option 3 – Understanding Exempt Assets

When calculating net worth and the amount of equalization to be paid, it is very helpful to know what one owns on the date of cohabitation and the value of things on the date when the relationship is over.  In this case, the retail lady had inherited her parent’s estate when they died in a tragic car accident.  The inheritance, which was in-excess of $750,000 came into her possession six years after she moved in with her partner.  Fortuitously, she had kept the principle in her own name but had generously shared the income from the invested capital with her partner.  Because she was clear about what she owned before moving in with her common law spouse and was smart not to co-mingle her inheritance with her lover, she dodged a legal mess which would have cost her hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The other partner had started working for the provincial government before she moved in with her partner.  The amount of pension she had accrued before cohabitation, is deemed exempt for the purposes of dividing assets 50/50.  So, because of this, she only must share 50% of the pension that she earned during the nine years during which they lived together.

In conclusion, splitting assets can be complicated for a variety of reasons.  The first reason is that our ability to think can be clouded by rage and despair because of the sense of betrayal couples can have.  A second reason can be due to the complexity of the holdings that each person in the relationship may or may not have and a third reason is the amount of business acumen each person has.  It is not uncommon that one person is the “businessperson”, and the other is the “homemaker”. By using credible people, such as a Financial Neutral, family professional and collaborative lawyers, couples that are splitting can get to a more satisfying ending to their separation and divorce.

Note:  I am in favour of marriage!  Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged to thrive by everyone… individuals, families, churches, community groups, and all levels of government!  Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat, and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile!  If divorce is the route a couple takes, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it! 

Recently, we were pleased to attend a dinner party in our hometown of Cranbrook, B.C. My wife and I enjoyed to the opportunity to meet with people we had never met before. The group, which included us, totalled seven. As the evening went on, there were a variety of different topics of conversation that ranged from hockey, wine, children, fashions, and of course, what we all did for a living. Some of the people at the party were retired while others were still engaged in the marketplace.

It was interesting to see how enthusiastic each person was while describing their chosen vocation. The social worker described how they loved advocating for the homeless. The schoolteacher spoke about the elementary school breakfast program that provided nourishment for the children. The emergency doctor spoke about the challenges of caring for patients that arrive at all times of the day and night. A stay-at-home mother spoke about her passion as a homeschooling parent. The pastor spoke glowingly of his church and the development of small groups that fostered spiritual formation within the congregation. When the conversation came to me, I proudly described how I had just newly minted myself as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist and that I am on the verge of joining a Collaborative Group offering my skills as a Financial Neutral. I explained that a Financial Neutral is a professional that looks to offer a balanced view of the couple’s finances, as opposed to being hired for the financial well-being of just one person.

The people at the table at once began to share stories of how someone they knew, (or heard about) got screwed in a divorce. One question was, “is it true that 50% of marriages end up in divorce?”. Another question was, “is it true that lawyers just take advantage of their clients?”.   A third comment was, “when my cousin’s husband ran off with the next-door neighbor, she (the cousin) ended up having to pay him money! Because he was the cheating b’trd, he should have lost everything!”.

After a while, one of guests asked, “Why would someone hire you and your collaborative team when the “divorce industry” is dominated by lawyers trained in the adversarial system?

My answer was simple, “Because we only work with couples that want to get on with life.”  To illustrate my point, I took an empty plate and showed them that the size of the plate stood for the total amount of wealth they were going to split. I went on to explain that when couples fight over things at the lawyers’ rates of between $300 to $500 per hour each, it does not take long to burn through thousands of dollars. The amount of money represented by the proverbial pie will reduce quickly. The costs magnify if couples end up in court expecting justice.

Another question that was asked, in conjunction with the first question was what the “average” cost and the “average” time was it took to get a divorce. I explained that describing people’s marriages and family life challenges should not be commoditized. I went on to say that, in my opinion that any professional that gives “an average cost or an average length of time for a divorce” is unnecessarily raising a couple’s expectation as to how to think about resolving their issues. This is because there are no “average” couples and there are not “average” families. It is for this reason that the Collaborative Model was created in order to provide a different type of solution for couples and families who want resolution to a marriage that has failed.

A collaborative model usually involves a team of three or four collaboratively trained professionals:  A lawyer representing each person, a financial neutral and often a family professional. These experts are able to bring their problem-solving and people skills training to help the couples come to a more satisfactory resolution faster and more amicably in many cases.

Clients who embrace this model of problem solving, usually come to terms within 4 to 6 months from engagement. The common adversarial system has its place but has several drawbacks, the large one being that couples often have a long time to get representation because of a lack of lawyers specializing in family law in the Kootenay region of B.C. and indeed, in all of British Columbia.

At the end of the evening, all the guest all commented that it was good to know that there is an option to the traditional legal system of separation and divorce.

Note:  I am in favour of marriage! Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged to thrive by everyone… individuals, families, churches, community groups, and all levels of government! Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat, and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile! If divorce is the route a couple takes, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it!

In a recent case, a common law couple decided to separate after 9 years of co-habitation. The couple who fell in love, in spite of their different world views, found that they no longer loved each other because of those same world views.

One of the differences in world view was how money was to be earned and spent. The man who said that he earned less than he made, spent money on “potential business opportunities.”  These opportunities, which did not come to fruition, resulted in growing credit card debt, unpaid mortgage payments and a line of credit that continued to grow.

The couple engaged me to help them to help them determine two things. The first calculations were to determine how to best execute the 50/50 split of assets and the second calculation was to determine the value of how much child and spousal support would need to be paid.

When couples separate and divorce, it is vital that there is full disclosure of all property, debts, and income. The lady in this case, shared her information by presenting up to date statements from different financial institutions, including income tax. The partner, on the other hand, sent an email with estimates.

When the partner decided to share his past 3 years of income tax statements, it was illuminating for the former partner as he had been understating his income up until then. The man had only shown his T4 income to his wife, while withholding the information about his professional corporation.

When we calculated the child and spousal support properly difference in support payments was incredibly significant.

What is the lesson in this case? Proper disclosure of assets, debts and income will help to get an amicable settlement. The adage from an ancient book of wisdom, “your sins will find you out”, is actually true. The good news here was that the man who had “forgot” disclosing his professional income initially but later shared when he “remembered” to share his professional corporation’s income with us, saved both him and her a lot of time and probably, significant and unnecessary legal bills.

From time to time, people have asked me, why should people collaborate with me as opposed to engaging in the traditional “lawyering up” method. If you and your spouse/partner are committed to separating or divorcing, I will give you nine reasons to engage me, a Professional, collaboratively trained, Financial Neutral.

1.  Whereas most people have no training in conflict management, working in a collaborative setting with professionals who are, means you do not have to be alone!
2. Whereas most people have no training in how to “fight fair,” working in a collaborative setting establishes the rules as to how all parties will solve the problems identified by both you and your spouse.
3. Families can develop a plan that is customized for their unique needs.
4. You get to frame the financials in a practical way. This can be immensely helpful to the partner who may not be as savvy with the family finances as the other person.
5. Ideally, the collaborative process includes me as the Financial Neutral, a family professional (counsellors, social workers, pastors) and collaboratively trained lawyers – one for each person who is separating.
6. There can be significant cost effectiveness. Litigation can be a costly affair due to legal fees, court costs and potential appeals. In contrast, the collaborative process often proves to be a more cost-effective approach.
7. There is more confidentiality and privacy. In litigation, proceedings are a matter of public record. The collaborative process offers a way to stay out of the public eye.
8. Separation and Divorce is incredibly stressful and emotionally draining. By adding litigation to the mix, people and their families often end up sick and tired. The collaborative process on the other hand, fosters a cooperative environment that encourages open dialogue and active problem solving.
9. Court-imposed decisions rarely yield higher satisfaction results. Collaborative agreements tend to yield higher satisfaction rates that often stand the test of time.

In a previous blog post, I had referenced, the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss American psychologist who identified five stages of grief. These stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance, are common to couples and families that experience separation and divorce.

The question can be posed then, if you are going through this “valley of the shadow,” then with whom and how do you want to journey this path? In a litigious way or in a creative way with supportive professionals?

If you want to discuss your needs, do not hesitate to reach out to me through my website.

Over 20 years ago, a client of mine asked me a profoundly serious question. He asked, “what should I not do so that my wife and I can retire with dignity, hope, and comfort?”

The answer I gave was simple and straightforward. Do everything possible to continue to build a stable and reasonably happy marriage. Do not get divorced!

The reason that I responded to my friends in that way was because of my observations of other people that had gotten divorces and those who enjoyed happy marriages. (I have to add a caveat that says that a happy marriage does not guarantee wealth, nor does a divorce result that a couple become destitute).

It has been my observation that couples make life more difficult by having sad marriages that often end up with the cost of separation and divorce. If they end up fighting, the legal fees most often use up much of the resources that are being fought over.

I recently came across a YouTube presentation which I think you will benefit from. Unfortunately, the presentation is based upon American research and experiences. You will have to make the translation to our Canadian perspectives, however, given that our North American experiences are quite similar, the information is extremely useful.

Conclusion:  My goal as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist is to help those couples that are divorcing, do so in the most financially efficient way possible. There can be life after divorce, and it is vital that people be able to create a financial plan to build their respective futures. Call me at 250-417-1321 or email me at [email protected] if you have any questions.

A man recently contacted me with a question…. How difficult would it be to try to change his spousal support agreement?  The background story to this question was that when he and his wife separated, they had, with the help their respective lawyers, come up with a spousal support scheme, which at the time, seemed like a good arrangement to the unhappy couple.

About a year ago, a couple whom I will call Jack and Jill, of Smallville, B.C*., decided that their marriage of 14 years was over.  They each engaged their respective lawyers and started the process to divorce.  Prior to, and during their marriage, the couple both had decent jobs and were able to purchase rental properties in their town.  Jack and Jill, like so many people in business, had their business affairs organized as a sole proprietorship.

When they separated in autumn 2023, the couple decided to keep their real estate and rental business as it was, with Jack as the landlord, property manager, and handyman.  Jill, out of sympathy to her hardworking ‘X’, told him that she had a good idea for him.  Instead of paying her “support payments”, he could manage the properties in their entirety.  This meant that all the rental revenue would flow through their shared “business account”.  Luckily for them, their rentals were occupied 100% of the time since 2021.  On the other hand, maintenance costs, interest charges and taxes have used up all the cash reserves.  He just finished his 2024 income tax, and it was determined that he has to pay a large CRA bill over $17,000!

This arrangement is no longer satisfactory to Jack.  Jack has determined that that the traditional spousal arrangement would actually be better for him.  Hence his question, could the spousal arrangement that he signed with Jill, be changed?

The answer to that question is “yes, but.”  According to the Government of Canada Fact Sheet, March 18, 2025: 

If you are paying spousal support that is set out in a written agreement or in a court order, you must continue to pay unless:

The order is changed by a court when:

You and your former spouse agree to change your agreement; or

The conditions for stopping payment, as set out in the order or agreement, have been met.

A court may only change a spousal support order when justified by an important change in the circumstances of either spouse. For example, if the support payer loses his or her job after the support order was made and he or she can no longer pay the amount that was ordered, a court may then decide that the support order should be changed.

If you and your former spouse have a spousal support agreement, and either of you experiences a change in your circumstances, you may wish to change your agreement to reflect your new situation. However, both you and your former spouse will need to consent to any proposed changes to your agreement before they can take effect.

If your order or agreement clearly states that spousal support is to end on a particular date or on the happening of a certain event, then payment of support can stop at that point. For example, if your order or agreement specifically provides that spousal support is to end on December 1st of the year 2020, then your spousal support obligation would end at that time.

My recommendation, as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist, was that he should build a logical case to bolster his argument to get the change he wants.  He could try to do it by himself, or he could hire me to help him build a team that could help him. I respect my client’s desire to try to save money by “doing it himself”, but in this case, he is in this position because he trusted his lawyer and his own instincts.  His lawyer, who specializes in real estate, did not counsel him to get any third-party advice before he signed the original spousal agreement.  He now has to pay a large tax bill and hope that he can convince Jill, her lawyer, and ultimately, the court to change this existing arrangement.    

* Names and Location are fictionalized to protect clients identity*

I was recently hired to help a couple determine how to divide the money and assets of their marriage.  This couple, Mr. X and his wife, Mrs. Y had been married for approximately 21 years.   Mr. X and Mrs. Y created a mixed family immediately as Mrs. Y had a daughter from a previous relationship.  Mr. X embraced both Mrs. Y and her daughter as his own family, even though the young lady was never formally adopted by him.

As time passed, the young lady had a son when she was in Grade 12.  The parents supported the daughter and the boy as best they could.  This is where the story gets complicated.  Seven years ago, the daughter decided to move to a new community with her son in order to take a job as a beautician.  She believed that she could earn a good living working within an established shop.  But things did not work out as well as planned for them.  She could not earn enough money to cover rent or food which resulted in her having to reach out to her mom and her mom’s husband for support. 

Six years ago, “stepdad” took money from his own inheritance account and purchased a house for the young lady and her son to live in.  His goal was to provide accommodation for his “stepdaughter” and her son.  Unfortunately, the hairdresser lady only worked intermittently and could not pay fair market rent, even at family rates.  This forced “stepdad” to underwrite the lifestyle of he and his wife and the daughter and her boy.  Covering the costs of these two households used up all of his monthly income.   Then three years ago, Mrs. Y left Mr. X to live with her elderly parents in another part of the province.  She, Mrs. Y, has decided that she now want to divorce Mr. X, which means that there will be a division of assets and probably spousal support payments that will need to be paid.

I was hired to help this couple find ways to divide the assets of this couple.  My job, as a financial neutral, is to understand the situation and be empathetic to the family dynamics while being focused on finding a variety of options for their consideration.  Here were some things that I had to take into consideration in order to help them:

1.  The value of his pension plan that needs to be split.
2. The value of the savings plans that needs to be split and the tax implications of those splits.
3.  What property is to be excluded from the calculations.
4. The spending plans that each person have to consider, depending on the choices of how assets might be split.
5. How to share the information to the divorcing couple that the decision to divorce was going to have implications not only for themselves, but also for the daughter and her son.

As a professional, my job is to lay things out in a way that reflects the reality of the situation.  For me, this meant that I had to be candid, but not harsh or cruel in how I delivered the message.  The decision to divorce was theirs and the fallout of that decision is something that they will have to come to terms with, which may take a lifetime.

Note:  I am in favour of marriage!  Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged!  Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile!  If divorce is the route a couple take, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it! 

I came across this piece of wisdom on Facebook the other day.  Normally, I put much credence in social media posts, but this one I thought has some merit.  I hope each of you will gain some encouragement from it.  Author’s name and publication name were not given.

Marriage is hard

Divorce is hard

Choose your hard.

Obesity is hard

Being fit is hard

Choose your hard.

Being in debt is hard

Being financially disciplined is hard

Choose your hard.

Starting a business is hard

Working a 9 – 5 job is hard

Choose your hard.

Life will never be easy most of the time

Choose your hard.

Choose wisely.

Note:  I am in favour of marriage!  Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged!  Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile!  If divorce is the route a couple take, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it! 

Recently, a person engaged my services as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist.  This person told me stories of how the eventual “x” had been a totally bad person throughout their marriage.

The stories of the soon to be “x’s” faults were mainly about laziness, bad financial management, ego and even narcissism.  There was no mention of physical abuse or infidelity.

It was clear from my new client that the marriage envisioned was not the marriage realized.  The result of this eight-year debacle is only a pile of debt that one person created, but that the other owns. 

Now that the person with the debt realizes that they have been taken advantage of, anger and resentment is taking over.  It was important for me to educate this person about the difference between Reacting and Responding.  As difficult as it is, responding to a situation is always better than reacting.  It is vital to keep ones cool in these seemingly high-stakes negotiations with people who have disappointed you. 

In a September 16, article in “Psychology Today”, Dr. Matt James wrote about the need to build a foundation on forgiveness rather than fighting.  The attached article may be useful to those of you in a high stress situation like separation and divorce.  In conclusion, you should never go through life’s difficulties on your own. People like pastors, counsellors, lawyers and other specialists, like myself, are to help!

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&url=https%3A%2F%2Fthepleasantmind.com%2Freact-vs-respond%2F&psig=AOvVaw3l0YLmOGmXX5FbzAJh1FD9&ust=1740440830206000&source=images&cd=vfe&opi=89978449&ved=0CAMQjB1qFwoTCNDi3Pz92osDFQAAAAAdAAAAABAJ

www.acdyck.com

For most people encountering a marriage split up, divorce and separation is a gut-wrenching event.  According to psychologists, this event is second only in emotional intensity to the death of a child or a spouse.  In my observations of the divorces and separation of the people whom I know, anger is often the first emotion exhibited, with denial and depression being the next two emotions.  After these people have processed their initial feelings, they usually follow with the desire to fight.  Hurting people generally reach out to are those skilled in the adversarial legal system, namely, lawyers.

In my opinion, the best people to help you are those who can do the work, quietly and efficiently, behind the scenes.  While lawyers are skilled in their craft, there are others whose help is very practical and are usually less costly.  

A relatively new service in Canada that adds significant value to couples working through divorce are Chartered Financial Divorce Specialists (CFDS).  A CFDS is a financial expert who only concerns himself with finding ways to split the money and assets.  When couples divorce, it is common to have to divide assets and money according to the laws of the province in which the couple live.  The rules and procedures that guide the separation of the accumulated wealth often seem simple on the surface but when we dig deeper, the skill of a financial expert can save much time, money and heartache.

 Most Chartered Financial Divorce Specialists work for both parties as a Financial Neutral.  A Financial Neutral is a professional who works best collaboratively with all parties involved.  A CFDS Financial Neutral brings value because they strive to link all aspects of the couple’s financial realities in a fair and equitable way. 

For example, in a recent case where a couple were divorcing after 28 years of marriage, the assets that needed to be split included property and pension plans.  The present value and future value of each asset needed to be considered in determining the fairness of the split.  Taxation also had to be considered in the determination of the arrangement.  The lawyers, to their credit, were fighting for the best arrangement for their client.  The Financial Neutral, however, looked at the total picture and came up with options for the couple to consider. 

Separation and Divorce agreements always include language that pertains to money.  In determining the fairness of the financial split in a divorce, couples should consider the advantages and disadvantages of negotiating in a competitive arena or negotiating in a collaborative manner.  A Financial Neutral is focused on delivering a win-win outcome from the outset.

Disclosure:  This essay has been written for general education purposes.  Each family situation is unique and therefore each outcome reflects each special situation. It is important to keep in mind that the more argumentative the couple are, the more expensive their divorce will be!

Note:  I am in favour of marriage!  Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged to thrive by everyone… individuals, families, churches, community groups, and all levels of government!  Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat, and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile!  If divorce is the route a couple takes, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it!