My value as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist
In my experience as a Chartered Financial Divorce Specialist, I have been privy to many private and confidential stories. People have shared anecdotes of heartache to relief and everything in between. One common theme, that is often shared, is how long it sometimes takes for the divorce to come to completion.
When I ask people why it took so long for their divorce agreement to come to fruition, the answer is often not about the couples’ attempts at reconciliation. A common theme that is shared is that divorce was not a priority. In a recent case, a couple, who had been living apart for 6 years, finally decided to get a legal separation. I was asked by one of the people, what they should consider doing to proceed with divorce. When I asked them if they had sought counselling or legal advice during this time of being apart, they both said “no”. They were feeling rather ambivalent about their relationship, however, one person was now developing a new relationship with someone new and thought it might be prudent to “make things legal”.
Six years of separation made it difficult for both people to figure out how to unravel their joint banking accounts, the stuff in the house and what the divorce will mean as it pertains to their pension and retirement plans. Both people in this unengaged relationship do not have a lot of money and are just not that motivated to do the things necessary to close one chapter and start new ones. They just know that the marriage does not work but they do not seem to want to do the things necessary to come to closure.
Providing value to this couple was quite easy. Because this couple was not clear as to whether they should or should not divorce, it was best to refer them to seek the services of a mediator or a family counsellor. They need to gain clarity as to how to rebuild the marriage or to shut down the relationship. My role as a CFDS professional is to provide services once the divorce decision is made and not before.
Note: I am in favour of marriage! Healthy and happy families are the primary units of a strong and vital society and should be encouraged! Like all noble endeavours, it takes hard work, sweat and tears to make something beautiful and worthwhile! If divorce is the route a couple take, then make the break clean, quick, and efficient… your financial future depends on it!