Does Divorce and Separation have to be a “Blood Sport”?
In my last blog post, I wrote about how divorce and separation is a heart wrenching event, second only in emotional intensity to the death of spouse. In my observations of the divorces and separation of the people that I know, anger is often the first emotion exhibited with denial and depression being the next two emotions. After these people have processed these initial feelings, they usually follow with the desire to fight. Hurting people generally reach out to are those skilled in adversarial legal system, namely, lawyers.
The best people to represent you are those that can do the work, quietly and efficiently, behind the scenes. While lawyers are very skilled in their craft, there are others that can be very practical and less costly. Joselin Corrigan, a BC Certified Family and Third-Party Mediator, (https://porchlightmediation.ca/) told me in a recent interview that a trained and professional person can bring about healthy results in marriages that fail. She went on to say that:
‘Mediation allows you to nurture and learn positive communication skills to reach common ground. It is a suitable and often better solution to sorting your dispute rather than settling in a courtroom. Mediation isn’t a form of therapy; however, it may still touch on personal issues and relationships. You can feel secure knowing that any personal information you share with a professional mediator is kept confidential. A good mediator helps people have more productive conversations and can help to craft durable agreements in an environment that is safe, confidential, creative, and, in the case of family mediation, can include the perspectives of their children.’
I have added a link describes 5 stages of mediation that may be useful to anyone contemplating mediation. For the best results, engage the most competent mediator you can find to help you and your soon to be “ex” reach a settlement that has lasting qualities. Good luck! https://plaintiffmagazine.com/recent-issues/item/the-five-steps-of-mediation-and-negotiation
If you live in the Kootenay Region of British Columbia and want to correspond with Joselin Corrigan, she can be reached at her website: https://porchlightmediation.ca/
Have a great week!
Al Dyck
CFP, CFDS